Sam Hain - Occult Detective: #3 The Grimditch Butcher is Out Now!

My third novella in the Sam Hain - Occult Detective series, The Grimditch Butcher, is out now and available to buy from Amazon's Kindle Store (£1.81/$2.99/€2.68, and equivalent prices internationally), or as a pdf eBook from the Sam Hain's Casebook website for £1.50.

"When a series of murders in the East London village of Grimditch catch Sam Hain's attention, he calls on Alice to aid in his investigation. With evidence pointing to the supernatural, and occult symbols appearing on the bodies of the victims, Sam and Alice must get to the bottom of things before more lives are lost to the Grimditch Butcher."

For more information about The Grimditch Butcher, and a free preview, click here.

Sam Hain - Occult Detective: A Night in Knightsbridge released, plus All Hallows' Eve FREE for a limited time only!

Sam Hain - Occult Detective: A Night in Knightsbridge (Episode II)
"On their first case together, Sam and Alice investigate an alleged haunting at a Knightsbridge townhouse. However, the two of them soon discover that they may be in for more than they bargained for..."

The second instalment in the Sam Hain - Occult Detective series, A Night in Knightsbridge, available on Amazon sites internationally for the Kindle (as well as for the free Kindle app for phones/tablets/computers/toasters) for £1.85 (or $2.99 USD/€2.67 EUR/¥312 JPY, and other such currencies), and as a pdf eBook for £1.50 from the Sam Hain’s Casebook website for people who don’t have Kindles or an app on their phones/tablets/computers/toasters.

Click here to purchase A Night in Knightsbridge from the Amazon Kindle Store.
Click here to buy A Night in Knightsbridge as a pdf eBook.

Sam Hain - Occult Detective: All Hallows' Eve (Episode I)
"On her way home from a Halloween party, Alice Carroll unwittingly stumbles upon a world she would never have believed was real. Just as her life is beginning to turn upside down and she starts to feel as if her nightmares are bearing down on her, Alice meets the one man who might be able to make sense of it…"

Also, the first Sam Hain story - All Hallows’ Eve - is absolutely FREE to download as both the Kindle edition and as an eBook for the 1st and 2nd of March. If you haven’t read the first episode and you want to in time for the second, the beginning of March is the time to do it!

Click here to download All Hallows' Eve from the Amazon Kindle Store.
Click here to download All Hallows' Eve as a pdf eBook.

Sam Hain: All Hallows' Eve

I've written a short story for Halloween, Sam Hain: All Hallows' Eve.

It's the first in a series of contemporary fantasy short stories which will follow the adventures and exploits of the eponymous occult detective, Sam Hain, as he and his companion, Alice Carroll, investigate the paranormal and supernatural cases across London.

All Hallows' Eve is completely free to download from the website. I'd appreciate any comments and feedback on this pilot story, and if you enjoyed reading it, please consider leaving a donation; it'd be greatly appreciated, and every penny donated will help support me to make more stuff up and write it down.

Click here to read Sam Hain: All Hallows' Eve.

www.SamHainsCasebook.co.uk

Save The Arctic

Last week, global oil and gas company, Shell, attempted to send one of the world’s oldest drillships - the Noble Discoverer - to commence oil drilling operations in the Arctic, one of Earth’s most pristine and fragile environments. Instead of seeing the disappearing ice caps as a dire warning of climate change, oil companies see this as an opportunity - previously inaccessible oil reserves are now easier to get to. As our fossil fuels are rapidly depleting, companies that rely heavily on them - such as Shell - are on the verge of collapse, and will probably do anything to drag out their inevitable demise until the bitter, oily end.

Shell’s actions are likely to signal the start of an oil rush in the Arctic, as every oil tycoon on the planet is going to be clamouring to get their hands on what little remains. But in an environment as fragile and also as treacherous as the Arctic, drilling for oil poses a significant environmental risk. Shell insists that in the case of an oil spill, they will be able to recover 90% of the spill; a stupidly optimistic figure to say the least! The Deepwater Horizon incident in the Gulf of Mexico a few years back was only able to recover 17%, and that’s in conditions far less dangerous and complex than an Arctic oil spill would face.

For a start, the Arctic is one of the harshest climates on the planet, and an oil spill would be near on impossible to clean up on the ice. Furthermore, it would be far more difficult to drill relief wells in the event of a spill as the Arctic winter would cut suitable drilling conditions dramatically - an oil spill could rage unhindered beneath the ice for two years, causing immeasurable damage to the local ecology, let alone the knock on effect this would have on the global environment. Additionally, Shell has named only nine ships in their oil response plan; 6,000 ships were used to skim oil in the Deepwater Horizon incident. So 6,000 ships only recovered 17% of the oil spilt, but Shell estimates that 9 ships will be able to recover 90% in the event of an oil spill in conditions that will render clean-up operations near-on impossible. Call me insane, but I don’t share their confidence in their recovery plan,and would go so far as to say these are made up figures to justify the risks!

That’s why, just before the Noble Discoverer set sail for Alaska on the 24th February, a band of seven Greenpeace protesters - including Xena the Warrior Princess (aka actress Lucy Lawless) - boarded the ship and occupied the drill tower to stage a peaceful protest. Promoting their activism via Twitter and Greenpeace’s blog, the team were able to gather over 133,000 signatures in protest against Shell in under four days - after which the seven of them were arrested and charged with burglary (despite not actually stealing anything - aside from Shell’s pride, of course!). Their admirable stand to protect the environment in the face of certain legal action has continued to inspire environmental activists the world over, with now 200,000 signatures and counting.
You can read their daily blogs from over the four days on the drill tower here;
Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4 and the final piece.
You can also join the campaign to help save the Arctic by visiting www.greenpeace.org/savethearctic

But the fight to save the Arctic is far from over...

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - A Take on the Riots in the UK

A bus is burnt in Tottenham, Saturday night

As many people know, I am an overly opinionated individual when it comes to politics. I believe in a world where man earns his place in the world by working for it, not being handed it on a plate nor held back by a restrictive social contract. The recent events in London and across the UK have left me more opinionated and ranty than ever!

Watching the events unfold, from the early riots in Tottenham to the gradual spread across London, is heart-breaking. What started out as a peaceful protest soon became one of the most horrific riots in this country in living memory, erupting into an almost war-like situation spanning several cities. I find it almost impossible to think about anything else at the moment – to me presently nothing else is quite as important as these monumental and indubitably paradigm-shifting events.

No less than 25 families lost their homes during the Tottenham riot, and countless more on the ensuing two nights that saw London blaze. These people now have nowhere to go, no possessions except the clothes on their backs, and what did they do to deserve that? Nothing. Innumerable businesses have been looted, ransacked, and torched, some local and others more mainstream. This will leave hundreds, if not thousands, jobless and others with their businesses they've struggled to build vanishing in front of their eyes. All of this on top of the pre-existing homeless and employment problems. It's thoughts of things like this that deeply sadden me.

Stand-Off: Riot police and rioters in Hackney

Monday night proved to be the worst by far (to date), with the riots all over the capital and starting up in other cities. A man in Hackney suffered a seizure after the bus he was on was assaulted by rioters shortly after 5pm. Numerous vehicles had been set upon by armed criminals, countless passers-by seriously injured just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and riot police desperately trying to control the situation. One question hung in the air: Why?

Some believed it was related to the shooting of a young man in Tottenham by police, others that it was a gang or race war, and some that it was a political statement. Even some of those involved with the looting and rioting cited it being down to wanting change, equal opportunities and a statement against the government (some less eloquent than others, as these exemplars for society display!). However, none of it feels that politically motivated. The student protests of last year, when it turned from protest to riot, at least still held true to their agenda, but these riots are seemingly just active anarchists who have seized their moment of opportunity to loot and burn. I wouldn't say that is a conclusive analysis of the rioters, but it certainly fits a large majority of them.

I believe that if there is a socio-political message in these riots, it's held by only a small faction of the people. It's one of the problems with democracy – it's utilitarian in nature, catering to the needs of the majority. I am all for democracy, don't get me wrong, but it will always leave a minority who often feel ignored. In these times of austerity, it's the youth who feel ignored, as many feel abandoned, University a distant and unaffordable fantasy, and their futures bleak with unemployment rife and the housing market through the roof. That being so, this in no way excuses the behaviour. If any of the rioters do have a political agenda for change and equal opportunities, it's been sadly drowned out by the overwhelming numbers of those who are there for the sheer wanton criminality and destruction.

With sights such as those in London (especially Croydon's fire) on Monday evening, the display of reckless abandon, the lack of respect for other people's well being, and the opportunistic greed and looting seems to me utterly devoid of rational argument. For as long as these rioters display a lack of respect for society, society should have no respect for the rioters. Those who want to get a point across will now be treated like delinquents based purely on the actions of the mob majority – even in the minority, there are minorities who become misrepresented. The cries of “equal opportunities for all” will not echo as loudly in the ears of the public and politicians as the shouts of “terror and havoc and free stuff”. The overwhelming message from these people is simply “we can get away with it and don't care.”

A woman jumps from her flat's window,
moments before it is engulfed in flames

The sight of a wounded boy being helped to his feet after a mobbing is heart-warming, only to be utterly disgraced when the people helping are only doing so so that they can mug him. The image of a local business being looted and set on fire, the flats above them containing residents, families, now having to flee as their homes are destroyed in the blaze. These are not the sights of political revolution, these pictures portray anarchy.

Every one is entitled to his or her opinion, and to live as they please. That's a fundamental belief of mine. If these riots have a political agenda, good – go forth and change the world for the better! But I will not stand by and grant excuses of the 'disillusioned youth' or the down-trodden to justify these riots. These events have not made political impact. If anything, they have further demonised the very culture some purport to be trying to vindicate, and put the livelihoods and well being of innocent citizens at risk. These riots have left hundreds homeless, jobless, and without safety or comfort.

By all means, stand up for your rights and your political views, but under no circumstances should you endanger another being. And now, coming up to the fifth day of national riots, where are we? Last night, London was quiet whilst Manchester and Birmingham picked up where the capital left off. Total arrests since this all began are approaching one thousand, and about four people have been murdered, many more injured.

As much as I want to see this brought to an end, I don't believe that the events in London are over. After Monday night, would these peoples really just go “well, enough's enough” and that be it?! Perhaps they heard about the increased police force on the streets, or maybe they're trying to be unpredictable so they can catch London off guard. Either way, I suspect this is only a fleeting relief, and wouldn't be surprised if we saw more riots in the capital in the coming weeks.

Within the past 24 hours, Amazon.co.uk's sales of metal shovels up by 129,000%, aluminium baseball bats by 52,000%, and at least 5,000% on numerous other brands of bat as well as police batons. These numbers are enormous, and can be no coincidence. I can only hope that this is the result of a server error, and not genuine bat-sales. If not, London's streets may be empty whilst the rioters wait patiently for their parcels...

But finally, I would like to end on an optimistic note. After these horrific occurences which devastated homes and businesses alike, members of the community have banded together to aid in cleaning up the aftermath of the riots. For more information on how you can get involved in the Riot Clean-Up, please visit www.riotcleanup.co.uk.

The scene in Clapham Junction, Tuesday Afternoon

42 Uses for a Towel

Happy Towel Day, you hoopy froods!

The 25th of May (on Earth's calendars) marks the celebration of Towel Day across the Universe in honour of the late great Douglas Adams and the biography (at least, I thought it was a biography) of interstellar hitch-hiker and quintessentially British tea-drinker Arthur Dent.

A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with. So here are 42 excellent uses for a towel (as recorded by GNews) on your myriad of intergalactic adventures!

1. Wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta.

2. Lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours.

3. Sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon.

4. Use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth.

5. Wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat.

6. Wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes.

7. Avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (such a mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you).

8. Wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal.

9. Dry yourself off with it.

10. Attach it to a pole to make your very own flag – preferably with the “Don’t Panic” slogan.

11. Stuff your ears with it to block out the sound of Kria poetry (the second worst poetry in the Universe).

12. Set up the perfect foil to cover a towel sized hole to capture enemies.

13. Wear it as a majestic superhero cape.

14. Horde your precious Altairian dollars using your towel as a makeshift moneybag.

15. Wave it around madly like a Matador to confound intergalactic beasts.

16. Cover your modesty.

17. Fold it into a comfy pillow – easier to hold onto than the flying pillows of Squornshellous Delta.

18. Carefully wrap around a stick, dunk in flammable liquid and use as a fire torch.

19. Remove hot dishes from the oven in the absence of oven gloves.

20. Use it to support you weight as you slide down a massive zip line.

21. Swat flies and other irritating space gnats that come too close.

22. Cover the solar panel of robots, therefore rendering them useless.

23. Catch planetary aquatic life forms in a rudimentary fishing net on Frogstar World C .

24. Roll it into a ball and stuff it down the back of your shirt to imitate a hump.

25. Soak in Algolian Claret or another alcoholic tipple of your choice as a liquid sponge.

26. Blindfold yourself with it to avoid the unimaginable horrors of the Total Perspective Vortex.

27. Use it as a sun shade from the hot rays of Ursa Minor Beta.

28. Knot it together on a stick to make a haversack.

29. Apply to bleeding wounds as a field dressing.

30. Block drafts from the door on cold planets like Epun.

31. Drape it over your porthole on a spaceship as a curtain.

32. Combine with other hitchhikers’ towels to create a giant patchwork towel quilt.

33. Make a furry sack for Christmas presents.

34. Bind particularly weak and effeminate alien prisoners in the absence of handcuffs.

35. Wrap precious cargo such as the highly sought after Antarean parakeet glands for Galaxy Cocktails.

36. Stuff into the gob of an annoying loudmouth who will not shut up.

37. Whip lazy beasts that travel too slowly for your liking.

38. Open up your towel into a parachute on low-gravity planets.

39. Keep it across your face to ward off the dust and sand blizzards of Dangrabad Beta.

40. A knotted towel can be used as a short but effective climbing rope.

41. Tie neatly around your head to create a towel Turban.

42. Create a grand tent for a travelling Intergalactic Flea Circus.

January Sales and the Degradation of Society

The following is a work of humour, and should not be taken as a bitter man's rant on the January Sales and humanity as a whole. Despite the fact that that is exactly what it is.

Is it just me, or does humanity suffer a slight evolutionary lapse during that period just after Christmas and the middle of January? It appears that the whole of mankind declares "Well, enough's enough." and discards any sense of civility and common decency in favour of kicking each other's heads in. It's as if after being nice and polite to everybody for almost a year it's just too much, and all their pent up anger reveals itself in the glorious eruption of the January Sale Riots.

Now, I may be a misanthropic bastard at the best of times, but after tripping over a myriad of trousers, shoes, knickers, and elderly people, all casually strewn across the floors of even the most reputable retail outlets like fallen soldiers of some bloody war, I've achieved a new level of people-hating wonderment. Human behaviour has always fascinated me, largely because I've never really understood most of it. People will get into heated arguments as to how best to remove a red wine stain, where to park the car, or what paving slabs they should use for the patio, whilst I'd be more interested in discussing reality (the illusion of?) and the ethical implications of Hitler possibly being reincarnated as a starving African child as some kind of karmic debt.

The latter is apparently not appropriate 'light conversation' to have over Christmas dinner. Especially if you feel the need to stand up and goose-step energetically around the dining room... Mind you, it's better than doing it in the middle of a restaurant.

Anyway, I digress. I'm relatively certain I don't belong in the human race any more, either because I'm too highly evolved to be considered human (please stop your derisive laughter...) or am just a completely alien life-form. Or both. Or neither. Either way, consider this my resignation from humanity, I'll go and live with the dolphins if the aliens reject my application. But my point is I fail to see the logic behind the mob-mentality, general disregard for garments and readiness for combat all in the name of 50% off jeans... I can't help but feel that were we in the grips of a nuclear fallout this would be acceptable!

Back to the story at hand... I went to try a shirt on in the fitting rooms (as you do) and was instructed to use one of the vacant cubicles, a fairly obvious instruction I felt but I wasn't going to question this person's qualifications. The only problem was, there was no indicator as to whether a cubicle was vacant or not, so it was more changing-room roulette than shopping. Which sounds sort of fun when I word it like that. Anyway, I approached a door and went to open it (presuming, somewhat 'stupidly', that an occupied fitting room would be locked) only to find staring back at me a rather startled woman struggling into a fairly sizeable negligee. The best I could really offer in this circumstance was to back out of the cubicle apologising profusely whilst everyone in the area glared at me like I was a broad-daylight changing room rapist.

Admittedly, they can be forgiven for making such accusations considering the circumstances. I fear that were this to be a court case, it would very much be one sided. And not the one sided-ness that would be in my favour!

Perhaps I'm wrong (first time for everything, I suppose). Perhaps appropriate decorum for shopping is to fight your fellow man over a reduced garment, and to just throw anything that you either disprove of or is the wrong size on the floor. I'm sure the house-elves will be pleased to clean it up afterwards.
Hopefully society will recover by the middle of January, but until then there's only one tactfully designed shirt left in Marks and Spencer's and it's every man for himself!

National Novel Writing Month - A Retrospective

I went into National Novel Writing Month at the beginning of November with a spring in my step and a song in my heart, and with my wide and dewy eyes I gazed upon the word count that was to be my goal. 50,000 words.  Having only found out about this event 3 days into it, I would have to average 1851 words a day which, whilst seemingly a little steep, was perfectly manageable.

Under certain circumstances.

One of said circumstances is that you can keep your imagination from bouncing around like an over-excitable labradoodle. I started with a respectable and serious novel with deep philosophical and political connotations which would put our entire social paradigm into question, but before long I noticed small cracks starting to appear, revealing a sense of humour beneath it. Not that this novel didn't have room for humour, but the contrast between the main narrative and these snippets of wit and whimsy was so stark that it would have been more subtle to walk into an office with an electric blue mohawk and a 'My Little Pony' briefcase. It wouldn't work!


Unfortunately, my imagination spotted this and leapt onto the idea with the fervour of a horde of crazed rabbits that have just seen something that rabbits really like (don't think too much about that metaphor, I certainly didn't). Suddenly, I had the idea for the novel I was writing at the time, a sequel, a completely different novel, and about two or three plays running rampant in my mind.

There was also an infinite number of monkeys at my door wanting to talk to me about a script for 'Hamlet' they'd worked out, but I told them I had enough problems of my own and to come back sometime next week.

Anyway, in conclusion, I've decided to dedicate myself to my imagination, take it out for candle-lit meals, long walks, and write a novel in my own time rather than try and squeeze a story out within a month.

A New Era

Following my endeavours to establish an official domain on the internet (currently in negotiations for a domain availible at competitive prices!) I have discovered the wonders of blogging. This is not my first blog, but is my first official blog. My numerous attempts to establish a website have seen many a blog post, but these are to be discarded now I have discovered Blogger.

What inticed me to join Blogger was my mobile phone. Amongst it's many attributes that make it more than a mere commodity, more of a hand-held companion, it has a blogging service that directly links to my Blogger account. It not only accesses Facebook, Twitter, and utilises an accurate GPS system, but when I take a picture with it's camera I can upload instantaneously to my blog! This means any random thoughts or events I encounter during my travels, I may update the cyber-population with anything from the mundane to the absurd.

This prospect probably fills many with excitement, anticipation and nausea, so I shan't delay with finishing this post. Especially since I've run out of things to say, (which is a first I might add!)

Welcome to the B-Logs.